My earliest memory of holding on too tight goes back to my primary school years. From about the third grade I had one best friend. She was the ‘good’ kid that all teachers fawned over. I was the kid used in the ‘what not to do’ examples (viva la rebelion). We were complete opposites but we made for an enviable pair.
Around the seventh grade, the envy made itself known. Our two-girl clique started receiving not so polite requests for expansion. I was a fan of maintaining the status-quo. She was my person so I held on tight. Too tight. It created a level of discomfort that sometimes grew to be unpalatable.
Our reasons for holding on can be multiple and varied. When dissected, we find they are all rooted in fear. Fear that the loss being created will crush us beyond recognition.
The words of Erin Hanson serve to remind us that not everything you ever lose, is bound to be a loss.
I was the type of person,
That held onto things too tight,
Unable to release my grip,
When it no longer felt right,
And although it gave me blisters,
And my fingers would all ache,
I always thought that holding on,
Was worth the pain it takes,
I used to think in losing things,
I’d lose part of me too,
That slowly I’d become someone,
My heart no longer knew,
Then one day something happened,
I dropped what I had once held dear,
But my soul became much lighter,
Instead of filled with fear,
And it taught my heart that some things,
Aren’t meant to last for long,
They arrive to teach you lessons,
And then continue on,
You don’t have to cling to people,
Who no longer make you smile,
Or do something you’ve come to hate,
If it isn’t worth your while,
That sometimes the thing you’re fighting for,
Isn’t worth the cost,
And not everything you ever lose,
Is bound to be a loss.
Life is all about continuous change. And as yesterday’s post pointed out, nothing is permanent. When we cease our attempts to own and control our present environment, we open up ourselves to new possibilities. We also increase our capability to experience happiness and joy in the present moment.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” ~Tao Te Ching
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