Choose to be All or Choose to be Less

“Every life form seems to strive to its maximum except human beings. How tall will a tree grow? As tall as it possibly can. Human beings, on the other hand, have been given the dignity of choice. You can choose to be all or you can choose to be less. Why not stretch up to the full measure of the challenge and see what all you can do?” ~ Jim Rohn

A grocery store had two jam sampling stations set up. One station had twenty-four varieties. The other had only six. The purpose of this experiment was to observe how the brain handles choice. They monitored two activities.

  1. The number of visitors to each station.
  2. The number of sales at each station.

Professor Sheena Iyengar conducted the experiment. The study found:

  1. The station with twenty-four varieties had the most visitors. (60% vs. 40%)
  2. The station with only six options had the most sales. (30% vs. 3%)

The conclusion. Multiple choices are appealing in theory. They distract in reality.

Cognitive Limit

Your mind is a powerful tool. However, it has its limitations. With choice, the limit is five research says.

Fear sets in when the brain has more than five items to choose from. You’re afraid to make the wrong choice. The result. Either you make no choice at all or keep searching for a perfect choice.

The station with only six choices of jam presented less risk. The testers arrived at the buy/no buy decision quicker.

Twenty-four options were more attractive. However, the potential of making a wrong choice drove the testers to opt out of choosing altogether or spend more time trying to find a perfect palate match.

Lifestyle Impact

Abundance surrounds us. Choice has become a right.

We buy to have a choice more than to satisfy a need. We add people and things to our lives not to have the right things but to revel in the possibilities of what they present.

Variety is the spice of life. However, more choice does not equal better outcomes. Furthermore, what we ‘gain’ through choice we lose in time.


“If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got.” ~ Lee Iacocca

We access time via a fixed daily measure. No one gets more. No one gets less. However,  when you compare the lives of two people born on the exact same day and at the exact same time, you’ll notice that the list of achievements will always vary.  The one who did more learned how to make more time.

Making more time involves discipline. Discipline is not present at birth. You build it. One surefire way to build discipline is to eliminate or minimize choice.

Planning Vs. Doing

In life, you are either doing something or thinking about doing something.

Thinking precedes all action. Effective thinking allows for immediate instead of delayed action. Efficient thinking saves time, focus and energy. The life you desire requires all three in high doses. Choice leads to distraction. You will accomplish more if you learn to limit your distractions.

Take a look at your life. Make a list of the choices you make. Group them into two categories. “Choose to be all choices.” “Choose to be less choices.” Learn to eliminate the “choose to be less choices.”

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What Albert Einstein can Teach us About The Power of Imperfect Moments

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” ~Proverb

Annus mirabilis is a Latin phrase that means wonderful, miraculous or amazing year. Scientists refer to 1905 as Albert Einstein’s annus mirabilis. This was the year that Einstein published four scientific papers that would go on to set the stage for modern physics by documenting findings that would greatly influence the understanding of time, space, mass and energy. It also the year that Einstein obtained his doctorate after submitting his thesis.

The default thinking when one hears of such an accomplishment is that the individual found their perfect window of time and opportunity within which to work. In addition, they must have been working in collaboration with like-minded peers. For some, this might be true. For many, it is never the case. For Einstein, it certainly was not.

Einstein always wanted to be a teacher of the sciences. However, as a result of not fitting into the mold of a preferred student, he found himself struggling to find the type of work he wanted after he graduated.

Jeff Bezos said that “Complaining isn’t a strategy. You have to work with the world as you find it, not as you would have it be.” That is exactly what Einstein did. When landing his dream job proved unsuccessful, he worked with what the world was offering.

He allowed for what outwardly appeared to be an imperfect moment. He took a job as a patent examiner. His days were spent reviewing patent applications, executing art searches and advising applicants on whether their inventions would receive a patent. The job called for an eight-hour day and a six-day work week.

His job was unquestionably imperfect when you line it up against a job he would rather be doing – teaching science. However, he did not let that fact deter him. He had identified his purpose and he was determined to stay true to it all while honoring the demands of his current job.

Einstein found his way to academia eventually. When the accolades for his work started pouring in and he was awarded the Nobel prize, it was not for the work he was currently involved in, but for the work he produced in his annus mirabilis.

2 Great Lessons from Einstein’s time as a Patent Examiner

1. If it is important to you, you must find the time to make sure it gets done.

“It’s not about ‘having’ time. It’s about making time. If it matters, you will make time.” ~ Unknown

In a biography written by his son-in-law, Rudolf Kayser, it is said, with regards to Einstein finding the time to work on his thesis and the four papers that,“ he soon discovered that he could find time to devote to his own scientific studies if he did his work in less time.” 

What is your purpose? What do you want to achieve in and with your life? Once you figure what it is, you must go in search of the time to make your purpose come to life. You should never allow waiting to become a habit.

2. Great people always do good work regardless of what the work is.

“The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Even though he aimed to do his work in less time, Einstein did not half-ass it. He applied the same level of commitment and excellence to it as he would have to his scientific pursuits.

As a result, he excelled as a patent officer and not only got promoted but when he submitted his resignation, his boss indicated that his departure was a great loss to the patent office.

The job you hate. The imperfect moment that you find yourself in is teaching you something. The lesson could be as simple as patience or a work ethic or as challenging as time management, resilience or persistence.

Doing poor work is a waste of your time. Not only does poor work consume time in the execution of the tasks that it requires but it also steals creative energies. All work is worth doing well if only to allow for time to do even better work.

That ‘imperfect’ job you currently have is allowing you to take care of what would undoubtedly cause you stress. Things like paying your electricity and water bills. Feeding you and your family if you have one. Paying for lessons to gain skills that would make you better at what you ultimately want to do.

You may argue that Einstein was lucky but what is luck? Is it not simply an engineered construct of preparation meeting opportunity?

Are you waiting for the perfect moment? The perfect job to produce your best work? You have only one life. Life doesn’t wait and perfection always comes at a cost. Are you sure you can afford it?

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How Tim Ferriss Learnt to Tackle His Fears

“Typically, people don’t overcome their fears because the fears are nebulous and undefined.” ~ Tim Ferriss

Your mind is your greatest asset. Tom Ferriss’s mind has gone toe to toe with bipolar depression. Bipolar depression causes extreme shifts in mood, energy, thinking, and behavior. Having been to the center of darkness enough times to threaten his future, he chose to find a way to manage the extreme ups and downs.

For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. Until death do we part, fear will forever be along for the ride. From the uber successful to those just starting out, there is no one, not a single human being, for whom fear has not manifested in one form or another.

Fear has its purpose. A purpose as old as the ages. That purpose is survival. Fear is why we exist today. Without a healthy dose of fear, our ancestors would have adopted all the carnivorous animals as pets and ended up as pet food. They would have eaten the poisonous berries because they were just too pretty to resist and hugged each and every person carrying a deathly contagious disease because to be human is to be socially inclined. Fear is part of our genetic inheritance.

What fear we don’t get from our genetics, we get from conditioning. Conditioning is why two people can have two extremely opposing views of the same experience.

Fear conditioning is a form of classical conditioning, the type of associative learning pioneered by Ivan Pavlov in the 1920s. It involves the repeated pairing of a non-threatening stimulus such as a light, called the conditioned stimulus, with a noxious stimulus such as a mild shock, called the unconditioned stimulus, until the animal shows a fear response not just to the shock but to the light alone, called a conditioned response.

Fear itself is not the enemy says, Seth Godin. Paralysis is. It is the paralytic effect of fear and the conditioned response to stressful events in one’s life that Tim Ferriss’s approach seeks to conquer.

Ferriss’s journey led him to Stoicism where the teachings of Seneca caught his attention. It started with the quote “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” The quote led him to Seneca’s letters where he learned of the practice of “premeditatio malorum.” The premeditation of evils. The exercise involved detailed visualization of worst-case scenarios with the aim of taking action to overcome fear-induced paralysis.

Fear-setting, a simple yet powerful three-paged exercise was born of this journey.


Page 1 — What if I …?

The first page of the fear-setting exercise is titled What if I …? and is divided into three columns. Define, Prevent, Repair.

Define — List whatever you fear, whatever is causing you anxiety/tension, whatever you’re putting off/resisting.

Prevent — List what you could do to prevent or decrease the likelihood each of the fears you defined from happening.

Repair — List what you can do or who you can ask for assistance should the fears you defined actually come to life.

When working on this page, Ferriss reminds us to keep an important fact in mind. Our fears are not unique. Someone somewhere has experienced them and figured out how to prevent them and or repair them. If they can, so can you. Should you get stuck, seek them out for inspiration.

Page 2 — The Benefits of an Attempt or a Partial Success

The second page of the fear-setting exercise channels the power of positive thinking by reframing the fear.

I have written before on the brain’s bias for negativity which makes us more comfortable talking about all the bad things that could go wrong as a result of our actions. Fear-setting looks at the other side of the coin. The benefits of trying and of achieving a partial success.

Page 3 — The Cost of Inaction

The third and last page of the fear-setting exercise looks at the cost of doing nothing. Of maintaining the status quo.

On this page, you will list what all the ways, emotionally, financially, physically, mentally, spiritually, in a span of six months, 12 months, three years, what the price of staying as is would cost you.

When it comes to overcoming fear, exposure works better than avoidance. You can’t, however, expose yourself with any degree of success to something which you cannot clearly define. Fear-setting is an exercise in defining fear at its true source. The mind. Of identifying and breaking the invisible barriers of fears that are more yelp than bark or bite.

“You actually do live a fuller life when you face your fear,” says Dr. Srini Pillay, a Harvard psychiatrist. Ferriss says “I can trace all of my biggest wins and all of my biggest disasters averted back to doing fear-setting at least once a quarter.”

Become the person you’ve always dreamed about in your bold and wild mind. Use Ferriss’s fear-setting exercise to train your mind to act more courageously in everyday life. Not to eliminate fear in the hopes of becoming fearless but with the goal of fearing less and boldly acting when you should act.

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5 Key Life Lessons from a 106-year-old Culinary Genius & YouTube Sensation

At 106 years of fine life, Mastanamma is definitely overqualified when it comes to the topic of life lessons. Her story is now being retold far and wide but just in case you don’t know who she is let me tell you a little bit about her.

Mastanammaa is a grandmother from India. The fact that she is 106 years old is great but what makes her story even greater in this social media driven age, is that she is on YouTube. Even greater still, she’s totally crushing it!

She joined (okay actually her great grandson and a friend got her on) YouTube in August 2016 and to date, her channel has over 340,000 subscribers.

Mastanamma’s is a bonafide culinary genius whose creations include egg omelets in cucumber and chicken in watermelon. Not flavored by cucumber or watermelon, but actually cooked in a cucumber and in a watermelon. Foodies around the world are no doubt all raising their hands in salute and wondering whether there’s room at the table for one more.

Here are five key life lessons that I’ve taken from her inspiring story.

Lesson #1 — Simplicity always Reigns Supreme

Mastanamma is the epitome of simplicity. She uses only the most basic of tools. Cooks over an open flame while sitting in a field. Peels vegetables with her fingernails and slices food with a ‘Bonti’, a traditional Indian knife. She forbids the use of cutlery and this makes perfect delicious sense for food eaten by hand often tends to be the very best kind.

Lesson #2 — Aging Should Never Signify the End

Betty Friedan said, “Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

You may slow down, but aging does not mean you now simply have a life and should stop living a life. You’re only done when you’re dead.

Lesson#3 — Aging is an Attitude

You can’t stop the hands of time but you don’t have to get old. Mastanamma is proof positive that aging is nothing but a reflection of time on the body and that aging gracefully has more to do with attitude than it has to do with having access to a factory-made beauty product.

Lesson #4 — Always Stay True to You

Mastanamma’s grandson could have insisted that grandma moves to a modern kitchen and takes advantage of the latest technology. She said no and he listened. She stayed true to herself and this is why 340,000+ subscribers have tuned in. They’ve tuned in to watch her story that just happens to be told through food.

Lesson #5 — Food will Forever be a huge part of Your Story

When asked to give advice to her subscribers, Mastanamma said we should “cook a lot of curries and eat well.” You might not agree with the curry bit but we should all be nodding our heads in the affirmative about eating well. Well not in quantity but in quality.

The food you consume either builds you up or breaks you down. There is no in between. You are powered from the inside out. You are not a trash can. The sooner you can master this, the sooner you can start to flourish.

They are yet to crack the code of eternal youth on the physical but in the mind, eternal youth is thriving. We are just temporarily blinded to it.

We as members of the society we live in have turned the view of aging from one of wisdom and experience to something that should be feared and found a cure for. We have the power to change that.

So until the sands of time run out, may you remember that Mastanamma lives in all of us. Stay curious. Stay hungry. Stay learning and maybe plan a trip to see a 106-year-old culinary genius while you’re at it.

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Happiness is not Hidden from You. You are Hidden from It

Many, many years ago in North Africa there lived a chief. He was very rich and had many wives and children. But he was not happy. He thought, “I have everything. But that does not make me happy. What must I do to be happy? I don’t know.”

Once he shouted angrily to his servants, “Why can’t I be happy? What must I do to be happy?”

One of his servants said, “Oh, my Chief! Look at the sky! How beautiful the moon and the stars are! Look at them and you will see how good life is. That will make you happier.”

“Oh, no, no, no!” the chief answered angrily. “When I look at the moon and the stars I become angry. Because I know I cannot get them.”

Then another servant said, “Oh, my Chief! What about music?

Music makes a man happy. We shall play to you from morning till night and music will make you happy. ”

The chief’s face became red with anger. “Oh, no, no, no, no!” he cried. “What a silly idea. Music is fine. But to listen to music from morning till night, day after day? Never! No. Never!”

So the servants went away. And the chief sat angrily in his rich room. Then one of the servants came back into the room and made a bow, “Oh, my Chief,” he said, “but I think I can tell you something that will make you very happy.”

“What is it?” asked the chief.

“It is very easy to do,” said ‘the servant. “You must find a happy man, take off his shirt and put it on. Then his happiness will go into your body and you will be as happy as he!”

“I like your idea,” said the chief. He sent his soldiers all over the country to look for a happy man. They went on and on. But it was not easy to find a happy man in the chief’s country. But one day the soldiers found a man in a small village who said, “I am the happiest man in the world.”

He was poor. But he always smiled and sang. The soldiers brought him to the chief. “At last I shall be a happy man!” said the chief and took off his shirt at once. “Bring the man in!” The door of the chief’s room opened. A small, dark man with a happy smile walked in.

“Come here, my friend!” said the chief. “Please take off your shirt!” The happy man with a little smile came up to the chief.

The chief looked at him and saw what did he see?

The happy man, the happiest man in the world, had no shirt!

 If you rely on unreliable objects – people, possessions, money, status- for your happiness, happiness will forever elude you. None of these can offer you a guarantee of happiness because they are outside your control.

“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are it solely relies on what you think.” Happiness is not hidden from you. You are hidden from it. Reveal yourself to it by appreciating what you have at this moment.

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Your 2-Step Guide for Dealing with the Things that Try to Break You


“The thing about life is that you must survive. Life is going to be difficult, and dreadful things will happen. What you do is move along, get on with it, and be tough. Not in the sense of being mean to others, but being tough with yourself and making a deadly effort not to be defeated.” ~ Katharine Hepburn

We love our stories of survival. Of life’s obstacles faced, fought and triumphed over. We identify with them so seamlessly because in our deepest depths we know that life’s obstacles were not designed with us specifically in mind. We were merely an obstacle in its path that it chose to go through as opposed to going around.

The obstacles are not unique or alien in nature. They have been seen before. More importantly, they’ve been flipped to a win more times than we can count. We won’t be the first. We most certainly won’t be the last.

Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. With every ounce of survivorship that your spirit can bear, don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and cause you to sink.


If you acknowledge the dark night and open to it, it will teach you extraordinary lessons about who you are and what your life is about.” ~ Susan Piver

Of all the survival stories we hear, the one’s that stay with us the longest are the ones where the survivor used their pain as a stepping stone to a better life. This is only possible when healing has taken place.

Healing has taken place when what caused you ‘pain’ ceases to interfere with your day-to-day life and become the root of all your decisions.

Healing has taken place when there are no new tears and what caused you ‘pain’ now gives you power as opposed to taking power from you.

Healing has taken place when the emotional scar tissue stands strong at the first sign of agitation and continues to hold its own under continued pressure.

Healing has taken place when you no longer have the urge to continue with any destructive patterns you may have adopted to survive.

Healing has taken place when you are no longer defined by what tried to break you.

Healing is a multi-layered undertaking One size does not fit all. One time frame does not suit all. Healing takes the time it takes. How you approach it must be best for you and you alone.

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of healing broken pottery with gold or precious metals. Through the healing process, the cracks and the brokenness of the object are accentuated, and the item becomes more beautiful than before.

That is the power of healing. You become more beautiful than before. This power can be yours if you fight to survive and then choose to heal from that which tried to break you.

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10 Quotes to Remind you that Solitude is a Journey You must Undertake

What is it about being alone that freaks people out? Has noise become so soothing that we can’t live without it? Is the thought of having to endure one’s own company so fear inducing that it must be avoided at all costs?

We are by nature, social creatures. We crave interaction and connection. Without it, we are undeniably incomplete. Even the most solitary of us, at one point or another, has sort out contact.

Though we are social beings, we have a limited mental bandwidth. There’s only so much that we can handle at any given time. Our senses are being overwhelmed with information. Our identities are constantly fighting against external modification. There is only one remedy. Solitude.

Solitude should never be confused for loneliness.

Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. Loneliness is commonly defined as the feeling created by the discrepancy between one’s existing and desired social relationships. Loneliness drives people to seek connection to compensate for empty areas within themselves.

Solitude is a purely positive state.  It allows us to stand still and engage with our true self. Solitude restores, reignites and builds. It’s a springboard to greater self-awareness, greater creativity, fresh insights, and new growth.

In a world determined to craft your identity for you, solitude is an act of rebellion. An act of rebellion we must all embrace.

Here are ten quotes to remind you that solitude is a journey you must undertake.

| It is necessary for a man to go away by himself, to sit on a rock and ask, ‘Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?” ~Carl Sandburg 

| It is good to be solitary, for solitude is difficult; that something is difficult must be a reason the more for us to do it. ~Rainer Maria Rilke

| I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity. ~Albert Einstein

| Solitude is strength; to depend on the presence of the crowd is weakness. The man who needs a mob to nerve him is much more alone than he imagines. ~Paul Brunton

| It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. ~K.T. Jon

| Without great solitude no serious work is possible. ~Pablo Picasso

| Children love to be alone because alone is where they know themselves, and where they dream. ~Roger Rosenblatt

| A little while alone in your room will prove more valuable than anything else that could ever be given you. ~Rumi

| The person who has not learned to be happy and content while completely alone for an hour a day, or a week has missed life’s greatest serenity. ~H. Clay Tate

Solitude can be frightening because it invites us to meet a stranger we think we may not want to know – ourselves. ~Melvyn Kinder

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Travel Light so You can Travel Far

In a child’s mind, the bogeyman tends to live in two places in their bedroom. In the closet or under the bed. My guy, a troll inspired slimy pile of yuck, lived under the bed. This thinking was exacerbated by the fact that in our house, under the bed was prime storage real estate.

Tender aged I made myself a vow. Nothing would ever be stored under any bed in my house. I’d like to believe that the seed of minimalism was planted then.

The other day my aunt gave me a gift. The gift is coming up on its twentieth anniversary this May. The gift – a copy of my college graduation program of events. An event she had attended and proudly indicated so on the cover.

The gift is no more. Simply because it brought me no value. This might sound harsh to some but everything I bring into my life must be questioned. It must have a purpose. It must add value.

What brings me more value is a picture I have of that day. A picture that is framed and displayed for all to see. She is in that picture.

What is Minimalism

… “It’s a way to escape the excesses of the world around us — the excesses of consumerism, material possessions, clutter, having too much to do, too much debt, too many distractions, too much noise. But too little meaning. Minimalism is a way of eschewing the non-essential in order to focus on what’s truly important, what gives our lives meaning, what gives us joy and value.” ~Leo Babauta

… “The ability or practice of traveling light so you can travel far.” ~ Roe@Brownkids

… “Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.” Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus 

… “Keeping what you need as opposed to what you want.

Why Minimalism

|“Any half-awake materialist well knows – that which you hold holds you.” ~Tom Robbins

Humans, in all their pursuits, crave one thing. A better lifestyle. A lifestyle unanimously described as one in which happiness, fulfillment, and freedom take center court. Ownership affects lifestyle. Your lifestyle determines the degree to which happiness, fulfillment, and freedom will be experienced.

We Are All Minimalists

We may not be active participants, but at one time or another, we have all looked at an item in our possession. Deemed it to hold no value. And thrown it out.

This post calls on you to become more conscious of that action. Of what drove you to the point and what guided you through. I’ll hedge my bets on the reason being – you were in pursuit of freedom.

Minimalism is not a one-and-done act but a habit. A habit of eliminating what is not useful. For what is not useful, when held on too, becomes clutter.

Clutter is the antithesis of freedom.

A virus is a harmful or corrupting influence. Clutter is a virus. A virus that can effect a harmful mental, physical and emotional toll. So take some time and look at what you own.

Is it time to let some things go? Is time, not to create more space, but to own less crap? Is it time to start feeding your freedom and not restocking your prison?

Should you embark on this journey, please remember that there is no magic number.  Also, the number cannot be assigned to you. “The intention of voluntary simplicity is not to dogmatically live with less. It’s a more demanding intention of living with balance. This is a middle way that moves between the extremes of poverty and indulgence.” ~Duane Elgin

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Two Four Letter Words You Need To Differentiate

What are you plagued by? I can’t or I won’t.

I can’t get out of bed or I won’t get out of bed.

I can’t walk a mile or I won’t walk a mile.

I can’t win this race or I won’t win this race.

There is a difference.

“I can’t” stems from a lack of skill. An expression of inability, incapacity, or impossibility.

“I won’t” stems from a lack of will. A deliberate choice not to act.

“I can’t” is rooted in helplessness.

“I won’t” is rooted in responsibility.

Non-achievers use the word “can’tto make excuses. Especially when what we have to face is courting our fears, rattling or comfort zone or calling for a sacrifice that we are unwilling to endure.

Achievers use the word “can’t as a signal that a skill gap exists. The gap is an obstacle in their path that must be bridged.

With every “I can’t” we sell ourselves short. We create a habit of negative thinking and failure. Straddling ourselves with “I can’t” ensures that our success will be doomed before it gets a chance to start.

The words you choose can determine your success. Be conscious of the one’s you chose.

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Fear Must be Questioned

 I’m not one for titles but this weekend I almost lost one I truly treasure. World’s Greatest Aunty. The scene – The grandparents home. The actors – Four nephews aged three, five, nine and ten years old. Two dogs, one of which was a puppy. And yours truly.

The puppy is still very much afraid of humans so let’s just make him an observer. This leaves his dad. A very friendly dog. He loves  He’s good with people of all ages.

Unfortunately, dogs are locked up when visitors are around. This unfairly adds to the ‘the dogs are not friendly’ label they’ve inherited.  I being the rebel, we all love, decided to set them free.

It was a good and bad idea.

I learned that when it comes to dogs, my ten-year-old nephew is a rock star. Except when they pee. My three and five-year-old nephews are on the precipice. They are more curious than afraid. However, should the trusted adults in their inner circle show fear, then they too shall adopt a similar approach.

My nine-year-old nephew was the epitome of what happens when fear is left to run unchecked. There was a fear induced temporary paralysis. There were tears. Tears that fell in rapid succession eventually becoming an unbroken stream. His eyes got tinted the saddest rosy pink. His screams are forever etched in my eardrums. Blood-curdling screams that sent his cousins, my three and five-year-old nephews, scurrying for higher ground.

The dog party was cut short. They were returned to their kennel. I took my nephew through some breathing exercises to calm his breathing and then we had a short talk about fear. Definitely one of many to come.


“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance…”

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Fear is natural. A biological reaction towards things that could harm you. you.

Fear is very much a part of the human experience. Wishing for it to be gone is to embark on a fool’s errand.

While fear is natural, being afraid is a choice.


Your fear is never about what has happened. It is always about what may happen. It is always about the future. The future is yet to happen. It has not yet happened. That means, it is not in existence. So, being fearful means you are suffering that which does not exist.

You can plan your tomorrow but you cannot live in your tomorrow.



“Fear is temporary, Regret is forever.”

~ Unknown

Psychologists Tom Gilovich and Vicky Medvec, in a study of regret, have confirmed the words attributed to Mark Twain. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

In their own words  “In the long run, people of every age and in every walk of life seem to regret not having done things much more than they regret things they did.” 


“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.”

~ Richard Rohr

Fear prevents action. Fear prevents living.

To change your life, you have to change your thoughts. What is guaranteed to change your thoughts? Action. Action is confirmation. Action is confirmation that not all your fears are keeping you safe.

So when fear strikes, take action. Recognize it. Become actively aware of the havoc those fears are having on your life. Express it. Make it visible. Explore it.

Fear Must be Questioned

“Fear is a question. What are you afraid of and why? Our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them.”

~ Marilyn French

Questions are a great way to steady your ‘fear-ship’. They can help you narrow down on what thoughts generate your fears. Where do you feel the fear? And how do you react to it? The goal for your questions is to go deep. Beyond skin deep to bone deep. “Where there is fear – there is power” so get help if you must, to get to the root of your fears.

Ask yourself – Why am I afraid of this? What is the worst that could happen? If that does happen will that be the end? What is the cost of not pushing through this fear? Is it real or imaginary?

Overcoming fear is a skill. You can master it but it will take time.

If you are going to do important work in this world, you must use fear before it uses you.

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